As we look ahead in 2013 we must not forget to remember the many things that we can be thankful for in the passing year. Many things for which we can be very proud of and hopefully many things that we can learn from. Learning, being thankful, and looking ahead is a vital part of growing as we make positive choices for our lives and encourage others to do the same. Looking ahead requires vision for bigger and better things, while appreciating all the great things that have come our way.

I hope you will take the time to be thankful, as I am, for all the things that we have accomplished this past year. To recap some of the most memorable events HIV Arkansas has hosted let me bring to your attention the outcomes of our events that were simply “over the top”, like, our Positive Living Retreat, The NWA HIV Public Forum, The Annual HIV Awareness Walk, and The 2012 Holiday Food Drives. These events were amazing and we are thankful for everything our members and friends have done to make them successful. If you really want to know how these events have impacted the community you have to look at the real  value events like these have.  For example: We were able to provide about $500 in scholarships for our annual retreat for people living with HIV to have a weekend get-a-way and fellowship with other positives from around the state, in addition $1,600 dollars was given to the Regional HIV Clinic from our annual HIV Awareness Walk proceeds (That’s 50% of the total funds raised!), and with the donations of canned food from students from Arkansas Tech University and Dr. Jason Ulsperger, and the Congregation of Spirit of Peace Church we were able to distribute more than $3,000 worth of food during the Thanksgiving and Christmas Food Drives for people living with HIV and AIDS. 

It doesn’t take long to figure out the mission of our organization—”to provide support and advocacy for those living with and affected by HIV and AIDS”—is being fulfilled through our work. This is something we can all be very proud of. In addition our organization is providing support through various social activities and regular support meetings by “giving” of ourselves to help others. Our track record is good and the road ahead of us is very promising.

As we are kicking off the new year, HIV Arkansas is gearing up for another busy and successful year of outstanding opportunity. We will kick the year off with a breakfast social in February, followed by a Spring Potluck Social in March and then a special trip to Crystal Bridges Museum in Bentonville followed by our Annual Spring Cookout, not to mention all the other fun stuff we have planned throughout the year. In every social of meeting there are abundant opportunities to reach more people than ever before and the opportunity for you to find something worthwhile and fun to do. As we start a fresh new year, I want to encourage you to make time to get involved with HIV Arkansas, take time to volunteer and be of service to others, and, lend a hand to help this organization become greater than ever before. I truly believe it is through our service and volunteering that  we find a real source of peace and satisfaction in life. It just makes you feel good knowing you’ve helped others. Not to mention the friendships you make along the way.

I know many people are thankful for all that we have done over the past few years and I want to take time to express my sincere thanks for our board of directors and all the time they have given in making this organization what it is today. Our board is dedicated and consistently working behind the scenes to ensure every detail is taken care of through attending meetings, working events, gathering donations, and working on the website. Rest assured, everything you do is noticed and appreciated. I could not do this without your help and support. I have the best group of people working with me and I look forward to a prosperous new year. May God bless you all and keep you in good heath.

REMEMBER, LIFE IS WORTH LIVING AND LONG AS YOU'RE LIVING LIFE ON THE POSITIVE SIDE!

Michael Burks

Have you every heard the phrase, “no one likes change?” Well, we all know that change is just a part of life, but that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. Change, at times, is necessary, beneficial and can be completely out of our control. Regardless of the circumstance surrounding any change and we must learn to deal with the changes in our lives and go on. As an organization we must also change and continually look for ways in which we can better meet the needs of our members and at the same time better equip our leaders on the board of directors to stay focused and purpose driven which helps in preventing “burn-out.”

Let’s face it, HIV Arkansas has done a lot of good things and we will continue to do a lot for the HIV Community, however, we must make some minor changes within the organization.  Our members are busy our board of directors are busy and we must scale back on our activities. Below are some of the changes that have been approved by the board of directors.

Due to lack of interest and participation in the Positive Living Support Group Meetings in the Ft. Smith area the Positive Living Chapter in Ft. Smith has been suspended. We are grateful for the time and energy that Kari Coffman devoted to this group. Kari will remain active in the HIV community as she endeavors to work with ARHope (Formerly NWA HOPE) and as she develops her Away with Stigma Facebook page.

Many have noticed you are not receiving as many newsletters as before. Several months ago we decided to do a quarterly newsletter instead of a monthly one to cut production time and costs. Our intention is to utilize our email capacity by sending email reminders and updates regularly through electronic means. We are working toward developing a streamlined system for notifications.

Our business meetings have been rescheduled and will occur at the end of each quarter instead of monthly. Our next business meeting will be in December. Our board has determined we can conduct many business decisions through email communications which greatly decreases the amount of time required for board members to attend business meetings.

Our typical monthly socials have been reduced to basically a quarterly schedule as well. We plan to have a Spring Cookout, our Annual Retreat in June, a Fall Cookout and some type of Winter social. We are always open to new ideas and welcome any suggestions you may have for socials and outings. I strongly encourage each member and our friends to make every attempt possible to attend these socials and special events under the new schedule.

Although these things mentioned above are significant changes that have taken place there is one thing that remains in unchanged and that’s our NWA Positive Living Support Meetings. These meetings are held on the first Sunday of each month at 2 p.m. in the Glotzbecker Conference Room at the Rogers Public L:ibrary Chapter. The attendance varies from month to month but the meetings are always uplifting and encouraging to all that attend. We invite everyone to join us for these meetings.

If we don’t see you for the Holiday season, we wish you blessed and happy holiday seasons and a Happy New Year.

REMEMBER, LIFE IS WORTH LIVING AND LONG AS YOU'RE LIVING LIFE ON THE POSITIVE SIDE!
Michael Burks

Often people who have never been involved in a good support group tend to view the term "support group" as something that weaker people need to make it through. Well, from my experience, nothing could be farther from the truth. The support group, Positive Living that is sponsored in the Northwest Arkansas and Ft Smith areas is the exact opposite; they are comprised of the strongest people I have had the opportunity to meet. These are the people who gather once a month and share their strengths, victories, and even their struggles. It takes courage to speak openly about HIV, to express your deepest fears, concerns or regrets, yet in a support group setting it is incredibly liberating. Often I see the transformation taking place right before my eyes as people walk into the room burdened down with the reality of living with an incurable disease, but take the chance to share their feelings and find the weight becomes much easier to bear having released it to a group of caring people.

Another obstacle that people face in coming to a support group meeting are the many people that have lived their lives for years, often for decades dealing with the disease on their own and just don’t see the need to participate, thinking who don’t need support or help in dealing with this disease. The critical part we must realize is simple, while those long-term survivors may not need support themselves in dealing with the fear of living with HIV and the uncertainties that come with the disease, the “new” generation of HIV positive people need to hear the long-term survivors’ stories. It gives them courage to fight, strength to carry on and a face to associate victory with. Good mentors are hard to come by and long-term survivors are great mentors!

If I could encourage everyone in the HIV world to participate in a support group, I would. It is beneficial, healthy and the most positive thing you can do for yourself.

In the NWA or Ft. Smith Area you can contact HIV Arkansas at 1-888-802-3332 about support groups. Other support groups are growing all over the state and you can obtain information about those meetings from Danny Harris, ARcare’s State Outreach Coordinator.

Positive Living Support Groups are “Real People…Living on the Positive Side”!

From your President, Michael Burks
 

Is it possible to be happy while HIV positive?

Is it possible to be happy while HIV positive?  Please understand I am no expert.  My expertise lies in my ability to eat food, and I am good at it!  If anyone needs advice concerning the consumption of fried chicken, I can certainly give you top notch counsel!  I say this because I am not an expert on HIV and happiness, but there are a few observations I would like to offer that may stir a thought in your mind to help you to get back into the pursuit of happiness.

 First in order to be happy I think one has to leave the past behind.  Gosh, how many things I would do differently if I had the opportunity to do so.  Wouldn’t it be great if we could be like Marty McFly and scoot on back to the past and change the future.  Problem is, there is no fixing the past. The past has happened and it just has to be left where it is, in the past. Present happiness cannot be found while dwelling on past failures or successes.  Don’t relive the past, rather move forward and find happiness.

Second, forgive yourself, forgive others.  Don’t carry grudges as they will eat at your soul like cancer!  Forgive that lover that did you wrong, Forgive that significant one who mistreated you.  Most importantly, forgive yourself.  We are human and as such make mistakes.  Allow yourself the same freedom to make mistakes. We can never be truly happy until we forgive.

Third, Laugh.  I’m not talking about a little chuckle here and there.  Laugh a lot!  Find many times to bellow out a big ole belly laugh!  A sense of humor is absolutely necessary in dealing with HIV.  You know what I mean, those Atripla dreams, the potty emergencies, waiting in the doctor’s office, visits to the “vampires” [commonly called Labcorp].  Don’t stress over these things, find a way to laugh. Find humor in the moment.

Fourth, happiness while HIV positive necessitates one must accept that you are HIV positive.  The stages followed after a positive diagnosis are generally the same.  The order varies from person to person, but denial, anger, bargaining and depression all factor in to the equation once diagnosed. Don’t stay in these stages.  This is not the way to a happy life.  Happiness is found when one progresses to the next stage, acceptance.  Please understand that acceptance isn’t “giving up.” Rather it is understanding one cannot change or control the diagnosis, but one can deal with the diagnosis in a positive way and be who they want to be!

Trust me I understand what stigma is, and I understand that Arkansas is not ready to admit it has HIV, but too many positive people try to hide the disease from everyone including themselves.  They never acknowledge for the reality of their situation.  They try to hide it from everyone else and they try to hide it from themselves.  HIV is not a vacuum that  sucks out all value and joy in life, unless its existence is denied or ignored.  With acceptance come choices, not to change the diagnosis, but to become a better person, to find opportunities in the pursuit of happiness, to love another, and to enjoy a deeper walk with our Creator on the path we walk.

Fifth, find a purpose.  It is so easy to just exist when living with HIV.  Many times the disease robs of the strength to do much else.  But even in the darkest moments of life a sense of purpose can lead us through the valley.  I remember when my Grandmother passed after a long struggle with cancer.  She went into a coma and was pronounced gone except for the machines keeping her alive.  Her heart keep beating, and she wouldn’t give up even after they “pulled the plug.”  I wondered why, it seemed she was suffering.  About an hour later her brother, my Great Uncle, arrived.  He entered the room, spoke her name and she awoke, and smiled, he kissed her and said goodbye.  Moments later she drifted back into her coma, breathed her last breath and met her Creator.  You see she had taken care of my Great Uncle since he was child, she wanted to make sure he was with her when she left, and that he had the opportunity to say goodbye.  Even death couldn’t deter her from her purpose in her life.  HIV cannot rob our happiness if we have a sense of purpose in our life.

Sixth, don’t worry so much.  This is easier said than done!  Years ago I was given a definition to worry that went something like this, “Worry is taking on responsibility that you were never intended to have.” Truthfully, the things I generally worry about I don’t have control over when I stop and think about it.  I would be so much happier if I would turn loose of those things I can’t control and consider only those things I can control, namely my attitude and effort!

Finally, happiness while HIV positive depends on learning.  Obviously we must learn more about HIV and how to improve care.  Learn how to eat, live, laugh and love.  We must also increase in our knowledge of all things.  We must challenge ourselves daily.  Read a book. Listen to music. Make a pact to learn something new each day.  When we stop learning we die. By learning we make better choices about how to live, even how to treat our HIV which in turn slows the progress of the disease.  This allows us to feel better physically and when we feel better physically generally we are happier.

My best to all our members and friends!

Danny Harris

President